Soul Train Awards- the play by play by me

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If one more person comes out all renewed and sporting that 1950’s look im’a go all Wayne Brady and shank a bitch.

And if you watched R Kelly and enjoyed it…something is wrong with you. I shall never acknowledge his existence except for 3 instances: 1- You Are Not Alone 2- Fortunate 3- The Remix to Ignition.

This dance off is stupid, but Taraji need to let me borrow that bad ass outfit! Lookin like Wonder Woman. Girl, I be done caught a cold, two tricks, and a case with that on.

This Ne-Yo performance is lacking. Cause he ain’t fuckin singing. Meh.

Did I just see “Crack” in the word slideshow about the important things that happened in Black History in the past 30 years? It was like, Mandela, Jordan, Crack, Katrina, Obama, Haiti.

Ain’t Ron Isley old weird Batman Cartoon Character looking ass supposed to be in jail?

Sole is ugly!

Faith Evans looks like a colored version of Caitlyn from Teen Moms with that assymetrical bob.

I do not like Kem. But RACHELLE IS MY PLAY SISTER!

Oh Blessed! Do I love Dionne Farris? Yes I do.

Why is Eric Benet screaming?

I don’t like this new season of The Game commercial. It just looks stupid and I hate Mel’s hair.

Is the Dougie really inspired by Dougie Fresh? I know he did have a move back in the day with his hand going over his head.

Damn Kid Capri got on a suit and a low cut:O

Biz Markie’s face looks like it’s drooping.

Is Wolf Blitzer really the white dude stand in for Eminem? Hilarious!

Coco looks like Paulette C Walker with that hair and make up.

Dougie Fresh is real SVELT.

That Bruno Mars dude sounds good singing and he plays gee-tar?

DAMN KEISHA COLE’S LIPSTICK IS RONALD MCDONALD WIG RED! Oh the lipstick matches her fuck me pumps.

Although I love Bilal’s music he makes me feel uncomfortable.

Why is Tank’s forehead so shiny? Specular Highlight up in this bitch!

Eric Benet is really playing his Brotha card tonight. Glad to see he’s wearing shoes again cause his ass was gonna be the catalyst behind an outbreak of Cofootalitis in the US.

So where did Peabo Bryson’s neck go? He look like “I don’t know”

Freddie Jackson looks like a raisin.

So, I really didn’t enjoy that Ron Isley Tribute. But he come out with…
this is mr big
how you doin mr big
what the hell is goin on
what you mean what’s goin on
Kelly;s telling me that you sleepin with another women
Well if she didn’t see me with her …I don’t remember the rest.

So maybe I acknowledge R Kelly’s existence in 3 ½ instances.

Is that Tim Gunn next to Anita Baker?

Is his manager Marcus King from the Jamie Foxx show?

It’s nice to see him so humble and happy to receive the honor. I love it when people are genuine. He sounded like my granny when he said “Oh Lord.” How he gonna sing and he was just crying? Where’s Ernie?
Who is that dude next to Janelle Monet who looks like Dred Scott in profile?

What is this random ass song he is singing? We don’t know this shit.

Aww shit, here comes me, Michelle and Shafari’s jam! Well R Kelly is up to existing 4 times.

WTF is she wearing?
Damn, Cee-lo need to lose weight. He is another Big Pun waiting to happen. He ain’t always been that big.

Man, Taraji be slippin on her hosting skills. I can see her squinting to make out the cue cards or teleprompter.

Did I see Derek J’s name in the credits?

Dude, some chick’s name in the credit was Trinkette!

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