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I don’t know. I just really don’t know. And what I do know is frightening. What I do know is that I am lost. I know where I want to go, but have no clue on how to get there. I know that I am sad 78% of the time. The other; I just teeter between Ok and pretty OK. I can’t say that I am happy about one particular thing right now. I’m pretty OK with being alive I guess. It’s just like I’m going through the motions, but getting no real satisfaction. The one thing, place, person that brought me true happiness; to the point of giddy fits now brings me the most sadness. I lower my head, put my hands over my ears, and wince in pain. Closing my eyes and hoping that I would just all go away. Wishing that I could just go away. People say brighter days will come, but I don’t see how. When I’m a blind hermit crab, burrowed into the sand at the deepest, darkest spot in the Indian Ocean. Come to me and whisper words of peace because if you don’t I just might die down here.
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