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I’d been interested in participating in Hollywood Carnival for about two years, but fear kept me at bay. When I looked at videos, all of the women were tall and/or skinny. I am neither. As I am on my journey; evolution to speak I forced myself into a new awakening. With the encouragement of two beloved friends I put down a deposit on a costume to play Gluttony and Temperance in Extacy Mas.
My heart immediately dropped to my drawls. I couldn’t get the money back so there was no turning back. I immediately set out to lose weight cuz chile I was fat. I was at my heaviest so I figured if I could do this, I could do anything…except math.
I lost 10 lbs in about 6 weeks. Started using MyFitnessPal and working out 3-6 times a week. I also had to make a life altering decision: To get a bikini wax or not. DUN DUN DUN! I did and it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. Still not sure if I’d do it again. Results aren’t lasting as long as I’d expected.
I picked my costume up on a Wednesday night and chile once I got there I felt like I should have brought someone with me. The pick-up spot was a house and it was night time in an unfamiliar city. I had to walk around the back of the house in the dark and I as like “damn I need a bat!” Once I heard soca blaring I knew I was in the right place. The pick-up as quick and easy. Reality set in…I was really doing this. I was so worried about my makeup and how I was going to keep these thighs from chaffing, ass from jiggling, and cellulite from being seen. Then it hit me, I needed some of those dancer tights to hold everything in place! Best $16 I ever spent! Shout out to Karabel’s!
In the clutch you can really tell who you friends are. I just so happened to have been hanging with my MJ Best Bud the day before Carnival and she offered to do my makeup. THANK YA! She’s the real MVP because my face was fucking flawless and she helped me tie myself into my costume with the most patience and care ever. By the time I got ready to leave her house I wasn’t in no position to be scared because I was running 40 min late.
The great test came when I had to get out of my car at Hollywood and Highland to meet my Soror/Carnival Anchor she held me down). No one was looking at my back rolls or ass. They were complimenting me on my costume and asking why was I dressed up. It was the beginning of the most free and genuinely happy I’d felt in quite some time.
The 3 miles down Hollywood Blvd was glorious. Once the music started playing and I got my first cup of rum punch it was on. I had an absolute ball. So glad I was with very positive and awesome people because their energy truly made my first time playing mas amazing. The rest of the masqueraders were so friendly and the wining was non-obligatory. Unlike most bump n grind sessions in the USA nothing was expected of all parties involved other than fun in that moment.
The band had a great rolling bathroom, which took so much stress off of every woman’s mind (I’m sure). The only downside I experienced was the hierarchy of refills. It wasn’t until my third time trying to get a refill that I realized I was being skipped over because private section people (with a specific costume) were also trying to get refills and because they paid an extra $100 they took priority over me. Next year I’ll come with my own drank. It’ll spare me the black sheep feeling and be cheaper.
Right before we went into the culture village I saw Machel Montano. I was all like YAY on the inside. Funny how I had no clue who he was til about 3-4 years ago and after perusing YouTube I realized he was that dude who sang that Come Dig It song from 8th grade. (In the 8th grade we’d sneak back to Ms. McCoy’s trailer early from lunch to watch videos on BET and our favorite song on Caribbean Grooves was Come Dig It. We had no business wining and grinding in the class room at 14 years old. Shouts out to B.F. Liddell in Macon, MS!) The culture village was dope. It was a free concert and I enjoyed learning how to duck and do that thing where everyone runs from side to side. Tired as an I don’t know what, I was still determined to make it to the after party.
In keeping with showing off my curves I wore my see through shirt (reminiscent of the Rhianna Work video dress). So I get there with two new found friends and it is a fucking hot box with egregious bar service. After walking around the small venue trying to find air we finally said fuck it and stuck close to the dance floor. DJ Private Ryan was meh, but then for some reason he dusted off the good shit because BAYYBAYYY I hadn’t danced that good in a decade. Even when you don’t want to dance you can just run in place to the beat. It’s like the holy ghost beat from Black churches. It was so infectious I could not stop moving. He played Rolly Polly by Mr. Killa! I was sweating like I was in a College (PSU) Party Circa 2004! I danced on some random dude who wasn’t tryna fuck. I’m telling you this dance and be happy without expectation shit is awesome! Some brother named Keith complimented me on my fro and it was genuine. He was like “sista, stay natural. I love it queen.” It was great to get that compliment from a Black man because in LA it is few and far in between without some derogatory statement intertwined.
Trinidad James came to the party and HE HAS THE HAIR OF GODS! I like that he stays true to his look. I know he was hot in that baby blue leather jacket. In the dim club lights he looked rather handsome. His white tee was skeet. Gave him a slight potbelly look. I was really surprised at the number of Middle Eastern people there. They knew all the words and the dances. Guess they grew up in the islands too.
By the end of the night my for had shrank like 4 inches and I was so amped I didn’t want to go home, but there is no place to go after 2am in LA that does not include drugs and illicit shit so home I went.
Caribbean culture is so beautiful. I was so honored to participate. All of my beautiful Black brothers and sisters were such an inspiration. It was pure bliss.
Sisters, push through and love yourself in spite of. I hope that my journey has inspired you to be free and have fun. I was emancipated. My fear of my body set free. Now replaced with an accepting embrace. It just took me to get outside of my comfort zone to realize my body is fucking fierce!
Sincerely,
Going Through Carnival Withdrawl
Bottom two photos courtesy of Extacy Mas (Instagram)
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