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July 31 2009
I thought I was gonna be laughing all day, but I woke up with the Chef’s POV of the goings ons that morning on my mind. What time was he supposed to get up? Why didn’t the Dr. go up w/ the oxygen tanks like he usually did at 9-9:30am? Why did he call Prince? I need answers. I need a timeline to help me understand how this could happen. From her version and position downstairs it seems like he didn’t wake up that morning. I was hoping the kids weren’t there. Damn!
8:05am…92.3 is playing Rock With You. Man, some songs are so bitter sweet. Got an email about Mike tattoos. As I am in a totally different mindset than most, I don’t see anything wrong with it. I wouldn’t get his face on me. But if I ever got drunk/crazy/brave enough his logo/initials would be cool. Or a glove or his tippy toe stance or maybe a profound quote of his. I’d want it right over my heart.
Glad to be making some money, but this situation is not ideal. It almost feels like a jail. My spirit feels shackled in this line of work. I think it’s the lack of creativity and sunlight.
Damn, guess Guy Black lost his job. Steve Harvey is coming back to KJLH on Aug 10th. I haven’t been in LA a good 3 years and Steve has been on 3 different stations. Michele’ is going to be at the Savoy on Sunday. Damn, there are too many concerts going on this summer. This is just so wrong. Stevie just said “I can’t end my last show without playing some Michael Jackson. I love you Michael.” Playing PYT. The dude and possible cookie pie really didn’t help. Guess I’ll only be getting 4 chuckles in. God, how do you go on? It’s just so hard. Let me bat my eyes to keep from crying. I’m losing my focus. I can’t take this. Stevie sounds like he is about to break down and I’ve been on the verge of crying for about 10 minutes on GP…well MP (Mike Principle).
The oldies station is playing Billie Jean. I just don’t really understand how a Mike song could come on and you not boogie. I have to flourish like a Jackson and make faces and smile and buck my eyes because it just be feeling so good. WHY IS LIZA MINELLI ALIVE? Wait, well if she passed that would make Mike sad so she can get a “live free” pass. I would sooooo trade Prince for Mike. I’m tired of being so sad, but it’s easier said than done. Everyday is a crap shoot. For the past 4-5 days I’ve been good. I was even able to make a joke at Mike’s expense yesterday. Today I am just so all over the place emotionally. One minute I’m dancing and smiling. The next I’m pouring my heart out in my journal and fighting back tears. I feel a scream inside of my chest. Kind of that “Nooooooooooo” scream and you fall to your knees in the middle of an empty parking lot at night. It should be raining and the POV or camera angle should be a long shot from above and in front of the object…that would aid the ambiance.
Rachelle Ferrell may not be the best person to listen to right now. She makes me cry when I am pleased with my life. Do any of you guys have physical reactions to music? I mean more than snapping fingers and patting feet. I make faces, jerk and sometimes hold my breath until they are finished with a note. I clap my hands randomly. Not an ovation, but a big thunderous loud clap at some point in the song where it seems warranted. I don’t think about doing it. My body just does it.
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