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July 3 2009
I feel nervous till. Bought the People magazine with Mike on it. I feel sad too. This whole thing feels not right. In the last pic of him from Tuesday’s rehearsal he has his Blood on the Dance Floor hair. I like the ensemble. That red shirt really makes it pop although the pieces don’t rightly go together. He is pointing. Wonder what song he was singing? I’m at the Laundromat and my bionic Michael Jackson ear kicked in. The Spanish talking people said his name. They showed footage of that June 23rd rehearsal. I really like that red shirt. Reading the People magazine. Karen Faye was still his make up artist. They had been together for over 20 years…ewww, People says he dated the ugly chick from the celebrity weight loss show w/ Harvey and the State Farm dude. Uh, Maureen McCormick is her name. Damn, Tatum was his cutest. Eww, pic of them from the Triumph Tour and Marlon looks gay as hell. He shouldn’t have arched his eyebrows. I wonder if those bedazzled pants were comfy. I like this pic from the cover of Ebony.
You know what I love, when he spins and you can see the sweat fly from his head. Damn I wish I understood Spanish. They are talking about Mike again. ABC has a live stream of a press conference to announce how the memorial is supposed to go. They are playing All The Lonely People by The Beatles. I’m starting to tear up. Could God be so cruel? They announced you have to register on the Staples Center website to be in a lottery to get a ticket. Darren and Alesia are trying for me. I hope I get a ticket. Last night I felt very anxious and started to cry. I clinched the legs of my shorts and and tried to breathe deeply.
I’m at work at B&B Works. A man-lady he-she thingy saw my I LOVE MICHAEL JACKON button and remarked, “it’s a little too late for that.” I’m kinda salty about the comment. She-he it also said he is up the street. Probably at Forest Lawn. I nodded my head in agreement like I knew what she was talking about, but I didn’t. I just deducted the Forest Lawn thing afterwards. I don’t think there was malice behind his words. I’m just sensitive. I had Darren and Alesia register me on the Staples Center site. Darren got through first. I’m praying that I win a ticket. Earlier I started tearing up when I had to call my mom to ask her to be on the TV look out. Sadness comes in peaks and troughs with me. I am eating for the first time today. Water and a cheeseburger and small fry from McDonalds. Let me go back out here and face the world. I’m starting to think graphic things…like the autopsy cuts and the fact that he has to be stitched back up. And I hear you defecate when you are dead. MORT!
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