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In 2016 I did not participate in the Thrill the World LA. Not because I didn’t want to, but because the energy, intention, and fun of the group had changed. It was a lesson in knowing when to remove yourself from negative energy forces.
As I get older I am feverishly removing the bullshit. This need for peace at times has clashed with my penchant to be a creature of habit. And as seasons change, so do the thing you do and the company you keep.
Around these parts I am known as “The OZ” The Original Zombie. I’d been a loyal participant in the Thrill the World Movement since 2007. I felt it a fitting way to express my love for Mike. If you don’t know what Thrill the World Is, it is an annual attempt to set a world record for the most people simultaneously performing the same choreography around the world.As with all cool shit it, ebbs and flows. My first year participating was in DC. I was so determined to dance that I found a group to dance with while on vacation, babysat my god daughter/took her with me, and drove a car on the confusing streets of the District of Columbia…FOR LOVE.
Every subsequent year I danced in LA. LA didn’t start a group until 2008, hence why I am “The OZ.” I was committed. I planned my life around the third Saturday in October for damn near a decade. I was so proud of being a zombie that’d I’d use it as my answer to those “Tell Me About Yourself” questions in job interviews.
So back to ebbing and flowing. The leadership and public interest in dancing to honor Michael has changed a lot in these 9 years. From a rag tag troupe of cool people who just wanna have fun to all of LA jumping on the bandwagon in 2009 to a totally cliquey and self-absorbed core group. As in all groups, dynamics change. Even with that change the energy and purpose always stayed constant under each leader. In 2015 I asked a question in the Facebook group about paying to dance and was attacked. I genuinely wanted to understand what we were paying for, if we’d met whatever financial goal was set, and if not, how much more did we need. At the time the group was moving towards becoming a non profit so I thought the question was reasonable as we’d never paid before and the WHY had not been given. The group lead to great offense to me asking the question and went all social media gangsta on me. I clarified my intention and a random ass white lady jumped into the mix, which was not warranted. The group lead did eventually give clarification as to why we needed to pay, but the damage was done. I don’t know Lisa and Lisa don’t know me. Things got misinterpreted online and when people don’t know each other assumptions can make you an ass. Which was the case here. An interesting point is that other group members saw her getting all gangsta boo and direct messaged me words of support and confirmed that others had been asking the same questions, but hadn’t got an answer.
I still participated that year, but it wasn’t the same. The joy and comradery had been sucked out of it for me. For the first time since in a long time I kind of felt like an outsider and no one likes that feeling. I decided to remove myself from negative energy forces.
So in 2016 I decided to separate myself from the negative energy of the group. I had to reconcile that I could still express my love for Michael without dancing with this group. I’d been wearing the same unwashed zombie outfit since 2009. It felt really weird not to buy Halloween makeup this year. I felt really weird not to lay my dress out on the floor to air out after being balled up in a canvas bag on a hook in the closet for a year.
Maybe there’d been signs of the band of merry zombies falling apart long ago, but maybe I didn’t want to see them. I still aim to keep in touch with those who’s vibes are right, but I will not entertain foolery. If I dance with the LA group again there will not be much hanging afterwards unless it’s the hand full of people I regularly connect with outside of Thrill the World. Plenty of other zombies have left the fold. Just didn’t think I would be next.
Maybe because I never had any kind of tradition in my life I felt the need to cling to this tradition. I also have to not sacrifice my peace and sanity for tradition. I don’t know. Will I participate for my 10th Zombie Anniversary in 2017? I don’t know, well yes I do. No I won’t. I’ll be on a great international adventure at that time, but maybe I can convince my travel companions to Thrill the World with me one more time.
Signed
The OZ
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