Month: July 2009

July 12 2009 Man, last night I saw Ciarra sing Heal The World on the BET Awards. Man, that shit was atrocious! I cannot believe how horrible she was. I bet Mike was turning in his body locker at the morgue as she sang that! We should start a revolution. I am so mad at…

What do you do when you sit and think, but are unsure of what to do? How do you pick up the phone when you are afraid of what you’ll hear? How do you live life when every other emotion induces a tear? by

July 11 2009 What am I? Why am I here and what benefits are to be reaped? I want to soar, fly beyond the reaches of man. But I can’t. Each day is getting better. I want to watch his videos and listen to his music, but I’m scared. I’ve been doing pretty ok emotionally…

July 10 2009 Not seeing much about him on the news today. I’m sure he’ll be all over the tabloid-like shows. I’m scared people are going to forget. I’m at a crossroads. After Monday I don’t know what I am going to do. I have to make a bold, drastic move. Watching TV Guide Channel…

July 9 2009 On my way down to the valley this morning a random Mexican in a silver F-250 put a Mike memorial keepsake program out of his window and gave it to me. We were in stop and go traffic. That was very nice of him. I guess he saw the MICHAEL JACKSON FOREVER…

July 8 2009 It’s July 8th and I awoke to another day of emptiness and irritation. I’m in disbelief. Did I really go where I went yesterday? I’ll keep holding out hope that this is a mistake. A cruel joke. THIS CAN’T BE? I love you. For those of you who were not able to…

When will they learn that everything does not revolve around them? While they are on the main stage being self absorbed, I am in the dark corners of the room suffering from heartache and heartbreak. Please be considerate of others for you do not know the pain they suffer.7-8-09 by

July 7 2009 I had a dream during the wee hours of this morning. I met Mike and he was acting, He was better then we thought he would be. It was a role that displayed anger and assertiveness. I think my mom and some kid or two was with us. We got the hook…

July 6 2009 Went to pick up the tickets today. The closer I got the more nervous I felt. Felt like I had the bubble guts. The Dodger Stadium employees were all excited like…Welcome to Dodgers Stadium, Congratulations on winning the lottery! I couldn’t match their enthusiasm. It was a pretty quick deal since we…

July 5 2009 I think I am running out of things to say. I’m just melancholy. Now I am very aware of the songs that are in my head. Like right now Bless His Soul is playing. That song sounds painful. Like he wants to please everyone…make everyone happy, but he is miserable on the…